So, I have a confession....well, it's something some already know...but...it's also not something I have enjoyed writing about since it's a little tender to touch upon.
I have not been able to practice massage since I moved here...though, applied for my New York state massage therapy license back in July of 2012. But, as with many things in life that seem to be obstacles, this time has actually strengthened aspects of myself, it has helped me to make my work more whole.
How it Went Down...and Re-birthed New Beginnings
I've been dealing with about eight months of drawn out back and forth conversations over piles of paperwork...my least favorite thing, ever.It was late last fall when I first received the letter. It stated that my application for an in state license to New York had been denied. Ughhh.
That spurred the most visceral response I remember experiencing in my adult life...I can even recall what room I was standing in at home.
I was silent for about ten minutes, I paced as my gut sank lower and lower. I looked down at my hands and they were shaking. I felt that a piece of myself had been taken away.
It was something I had no control over....
I cried.
I cried Hard.
I hadn't felt so sad in a long time. And, as mentioned earlier, I felt like something had been taken away.
Only, I couldn't complain. I was the one who chose to leave my practice for a year so I could attend school out of state. I knew the risk was there, but, had told myself it would be okay no matter what.
Only, I didn't think about how much losing my ability to practice bodywork would affect me emotionally.
Growth Stretches Our Emotional Rubber Bands Like a Muscle
Though painful, looking back, I now know this was a part of my path that I had to experience.
It stretched my emotional skin as a person and offered me a break from bodywork that I needed for spiritual growth.
This lesson was not simply put out there so that I would toughen up.
This lesson opened a space for self re-discovery and heart felt authenticity.
Through a bit of depression, I was forced to look inward and face some shadows. I realized that the only thing holding me back from fully becoming whole in my work and in my life was myself.
I realized how the courage we need to face our fears is actually hidden within those fears.
I just had to crack the fear open, and set the inner strength and wisdom gained from it free. {Insert cheesy new age music with butterfly here please. Thank you.}. I know, it may sound silly, but, it's how it is.
The Re-birth of a Vision...My Work in Transformation
Once I settled in here, I truly realized how much I missed my work.I missed regular aromatherapy consultations with clients, I missed sharing my gifts, and I missed witnessing the beautifully self-made transformations in my clients.
My energy felt like it was damning up!
I didn't have a community here and I did not have anyone to share my gifts with. Not even for free!
I have had time to think, re-evaluate, and re-structure my practice.
I have had time to sit in stillness with myself.
And, I have had time to realize how uncomfortable that can be.
But, with all this stillness, I eventually realized there was opportunity for growth. I had an opportunity to create a vision of my life work that is more true to who I am as a whole person.
I started with fierce journaling. I began to exercise and meditate more regularly. I wrote blogs that I will never post. I ate way to many corn chips. I gave up the corn chips.And then, I made space for newness.
I re-created a new banner for my practice website that shares a life work mission from my heart.
I updated my Facebook page to match, and no longer hide behind a logo.
It has always been in my mission to help people to re-discover balance along their path of self-healing.
However, what I did not realize then, was how much inspiration and transformation clients could away with from the aromatherapy sessions on both a physical and spiritual level.
I knew this was true for myself, but, I did not know if the people in my community would be receptive.
Over time, I discovered how my clients are receptive. Not only are they receptive, they are encouraging and supportive.
They appreciate my approach to blended both the clinical and spiritual....and how beautiful a process healing really can be for those ready to take a path of the heart.
This kind of healing is powerful for those who are inspired to welcome in new energy and therefore harness their own transformation. My clients would refer their clients and friends, and as they began to take those steps...the Self-healing multiplied.
Positive transformation is contagious!
What joy I was able to experience knowing I could practice in a way I felt sustainable to my heart!
The authentic me is both clinical and spiritual...
I can't separate one from the other, less I be split in two and sick because of it. I had loved working at the free integrative clinics while in school.
This teacher I've chosen to study with this year holds one of the more science based herbal medicine programs in the United States. Yet, as he speaks, my brain is processes the information as a whole--connecting the pieces with scientific reasoning and creating a poetry of botanical metaphors and spirit.
Recently, I met with a new client over the phone. He is a philosophy major and so mentioned this quote from Plato.
It is about the separation of mind, body, and spirit in relationship to our health. It stuck with me. I thanked him for sharing it, and told him that I would share it on my blog:
"...The cure of the part should no be attempted without the treatment of the whole. No attempt should be made to cure the body without the soul. Let no one persuade you to cure the head until he has first given you his soul to be cured, for this is the great error of our day, that physicians first separate the soul from the body."
~Plato
True Healing Works with the Whole Self....
My most favorite part of this journey has been how I have made time to re-tap into a few things that I love and have studied since childhood.
Though, it took me a long while to allow myself to feel okay about possibly time off from my life's work while here in Ithaca.
Planning this time away, I would have time to re-connect and build on my spiritual practices.
Only, I was not sure what forms those would actually take.
I thought it would be a focus on something new.
But, instead, it has been a focus on practices and areas of study that I began digging into deeply as a girl younger than ten years old and through my adult life.
A Path of Smiles, Tribes, and Meaningful Connections
I found an astrology club that I love!It is a blend of really interesting people; some there every week, and others come and go.So far I have gone every week. And, every time that I leave, my face hurts from smiling so much.
I miss Kentucky, but, when I leave New York, I am going to miss the ease of finding people with like-minded geekiness.
I am inspired to find people in my Kentucky home community with similar passions. If I can't find a tribe, I will join with others to make one. If I can't, that is okay, I have a few close friends that I feel totally connected to and that I am so thankful for. Now more than ever. You all know you are...I send you a great big hug and thank you for blessing my life!
Some of these friends and I have kicked around ideas on teaching metaphysical classes.
For myself, there was feeling of inadequacy at first. But, then I realized how that thought pattern is so against the productivity of learning from those in our every day life communities.
My partner is an avid reader, believer and practitioner of Radical education. He has shared insights with me time and time again that I truly agree with;
We are all teachers and students and the community I envision is full of facilitators and not teachers.
Expertise and wisdom are not one and the same.
I See the Light...Messages on my Life Work
In all this time feeling homesick, I was experiencing dreams, insights, and inspirations around my practice.I was shown ways to offer my true gifts.
Unable to practice massage therapy in New York, I was forced to ground myself into my world of aromatherapy, symbolism, aromatherapy, herbs, journals, meditations, prayer, and energy work with confidence. Key word being confidence.
The things I mention above are what I turn to in times of needing deep inner healing myself.
Unlike the past few years, my current practice will ground and dance around a form of healing experience other than bodywork. {Though, I will not give up bodywork completely!}
Grounding into Symbols, Archetypes, and Plant Medicine
Prickly Poppy, field trip with Michael Moore, 2008 |
Once I finally decided to own that, everything began to fall into place! It's unbelievable.
I returned to my yoga and meditation practice. I felt more ready to let go of those fears with conscious introspection and honesty.
From there, things gently shifted...and this past week I took a complete 180 on my daily outlook.
I stuck with those three dream boards I wrote about over the Snow moon in February.
They shared a vision of my inner and outer self, my botanical bath and bodywork line, and the re-creation of my practice. I hung it on the wall next to my bed so that I see it before I dream and as I wake.
I used personalized aromatherapy blends, Jungian symbolism, Compassionate Journaling, color therapy, plant medicines, astrology, and prayer to help pull me out of my inner winter.
All of these powerful allies helped in my healing. They showed me that after almost two decades of allowing them into my life...it is okay for me to share them with others...
They are beautiful, they are inspiring, and they work.
Open up Your Heart. Dreams will Follow.
Found a heart while chopping Kava Kava
(Piper methysticum) to tincture at school .
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I can continue to offer my Skype and Google Chat consultations as planned.
Though, patience and time are required for this new growth. I waited, it was a little like crickets, and then it blossomed.
Once I opened up my heart, I had people contacting me from New York, Kentucky, and California.
Within days I had a meeting with a local woman about creating a free spiritual aromatherapy program for woman who have suffered abuse and adversity through the local college.
The universe opened up just like that.
I could not believe it.
So, from this sprang forth my spiritual aromatherapy sessions, "Alchemy of the Heart".
The name came to me weeks ago. I could sense of what they were, although, at the time, I did not know how on earth they would go.
I have to give a huge thanks to Marty for allowing me to first practice for this particular type of phone consultation with him. Most of my consultations in the past from a far had been clinically based.
Honestly, I was not totally sure how a spiritual aromatherapy session would flow from afar. But, the messages from my guides, and muses were so clear.
The session went beautifully. I can't describe it, but, somehow I knew how to create an original meditation and, since then, the cards have felt more comfortable than ever.
I used the story of the symbols and my training as an aromatherapist to guide a formula blended to balance, inspire and support positive transformation. It was wild!
I don't usually talk about my work so directly on this blog, but, as time is changing, I realize that the separation between myself and my work is as futile as the separation of my spiritual lens on the world and my work.
So, I hope that as a reader you do not mind that I share a little but of what an Alchemy of The Heart aromatherapy session is like...
About Alchemy of the Heart
Are you craving positive change in your life? Preparing for big shifts ahead? Are you drawn to healing with plant medicines?This aromatherapy and archetype inspired session can meet you where you are as an individual.
It was crafted to support your efforts towards positive transformations as a whole person; in body, mind, heart, spirit and soul.
Essential Oils to Support You When You Need Them
Often, we benefit from a helping hand during our healing processes.The times when we need the most support can be so unpredictable, and that is why I love aromatherapy!
Your vial of personal plant medicine is pocket sized.
You can carry your plant allies with you, so, they can be there for you in support at all times.
Your synergistic essential oil blends are always personalized to meet your unique and beautiful self.
How The Healing Process Will Support You...
This healing process is about excavating and letting go of what no longer serves you.It is about re-surfacing what would like to welcome into your life be it self-love, positive changes, healthy activities or beautiful relationships.
And, afterward, I will hand choose and pour for you a personalized aromatherapy blend. A unique synergy of plant allies will step forward to support you during this time of willful transformation.
What an Alchemy of the Heart Session is Like...
These sessions are ninety minutes long. We can hold them in person, by phone, Google Chat or Skype. Most of my sessions have been held over the phone and by Skype; they work beautifully and effectively.We begin with some time to get to know one another. I will explain to you how the session will unfold and you can ask me any questions you have.
Discovery...
You will need to bring a piece of paper, journal, and your favorite pen. We will ground and connect ourselves to the Earth with a few mindful breathes, followed by a few questions...this is the Discovery portion of the session.I will ask you to record your answers on paper so you can hold onto them in a space of quite introspection. After the reading and through the coming weeks spent with your blend, I encourage you to revisit those answers and reflect upon the changes and shifts experienced.
Symbolism...
After the discovery portion of your session, we will sit with the wisdom of Tarot, Jungian archetypes, and plant allies. These will touch on a general story line that helps you to understand your situation more deeply...quite often, it is just an affirmation of what you may already feel and know.Support...
As we work through the Discovery part of your session, patterns, archetypes, symbols, and energies, will surface.They will help me to formulate for you a supportive, loving, and inspiring aromatherapy formula for you!
In creating the formula, I will ask you some questions to hone in on your inspirations for positive life shifts.
I will share insights on how your aromatherapy blend may support you, as we see where the spirit of essential oils guide us.
I will then test and create 3-8 different versions of your blend. This generally takes a few days to allow the oils to marry transform into your very own synergistic blend. I record this blend so you can order it at anytime in the future.
Once I have come up with a blend that seems to resonate most, I will ship your roll-on perfume (or pure essential oil blend). A package will arrive with suggested essential oil uses, a visual journal exercise, and a meditation.
When you are ready for a new blend, we can schedule a follow-up session. Some people prefer to have a new blend for each season of the year, as the seasons are the Earths energetic rhythm or life; birth, death, regeneration.
If you have any questions, please contact me by phone (502) 802-8036 or email. If you would like to read about how this session came to be, check out my blog post on Alchemy of the Heart.
So much love to you,
Nishaan
I read a metaphor on winter today, it goes something like this: though, the shadows of winter seem to blanket the earth, it is the melting of snow that waters spring flowers.
And, though I have used this photo in two other posts this week, I just have to share it again.
The symbolism of winter to spring seems to speak to so many of us right now.
This will always be a symbol of my time spent in something of a hermitage this year.
This I see as a symbol for the melting away of what we are ready to process as life lessons, and the welcoming of a new birth of ourselves.
Nishaan you are so flippin inspiring it's unreal.
ReplyDeleteBri...YOU are amazing! Thank you for this most awesome compliment :)Sending you lots of love. xoxo
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