May 25, 2017

Here it is.

Thanks for the photo, M.B.Snider.

I'm at a point in life I am unsure why I do what I do...yet, everyone tells me that I need to be able to explain this. I'm so far into what I do that I can barely remember why I got started to begin with...

So, here it goes, a skimming of the surface...

There are many stories we could share that consist of non-truths within truths that will always be forever changing and bendable depending on an individual's lifestyle, life experience, perspective, frame of mind, daily mood...

It's mind boggling and creatively paralyzing.

Yet, it's imperative that we hone in order to clearly share what we have to offer.

My big question on a daily basis...Am I living my life purpose? Am I supposed to attempt to offer support, accountability and an honest reflection to individuals who desire change....and *can I* even begin to share something useful?

Yes? I think so?

Honestly, it has been so long since I've actually shared that I don't even know anymore. But, here it is: my possibly futile attempt to share a bit about my story and why I want to serve others. Ideally, others who may relate to this story, these experiences, reflections and insights that I'm willing to share...

Here is a stream of conscious from this morning dabbled with "insights". Whatever that means...I'm sitting at my kitchen table listening to the rain (for reals), drinking too much coffee (I'm sure) and wondering if I'm actually going to publish this (I guess I did)....Shit.

Okay here goes:

When I was 19 years old I woke up from a prophetic dream that is continuing to play itself out to this day.  I said aloud to my guides "I want someone to take care of". I felt like I came from a place that made sure to let me know every ounce of energy it took to deal with me. Like so many others, I felt like a burden, a mistake, an annoying light that people shot at in hopes that it would finally stop shining into their house when it's dark outside.

I woke up that morning feeling guilty for everything I had ever "Taken" from the world around me -- including food, shelter, health care, love...

I thought the only way that I could regain my sense of worth would be to take care of someone as they did me. Low and behold, I met that someone. It's not that they were a realistic and comparative energetic match to who I was, however, they sure did represent how I felt I should be treated. Lesson learned...ready or not, ask and you shall receive.

This individual's character was a grotesque depiction of who I felt I had been...twisted and stretched through a lens Dali would understand. They were a shadow side of the shadow within my subconscious. I nestled in this dynamic of being "taken advantage of", used, talked down to, ignored, abused, lied to and belittled. Of course that wasn't what I deserved, or, what I put out, however it was what I felt I deserved and therefore had welcomed into my life.

In hindsight, I realized this was one of the first times I consciously could experience how we create the world in which we feel we deserve to live in. While we can give and take as if every transaction ends with an zero balance, this does not actually always lead to inner growth.

Neither does always giving while never allowing an opening to receive.

I am beginning to realize how this has been one of my biggest downfalls. It's funny becuase as I write this I recall my intention for this (2017): "to receive". I'm realizing as the year goes on the rest of that intention should read "to receive without feeling that I am indebted to The Universe".

It can be so much easier to give freely than to receive freely, yes?

 Talk about a challenge.

Fast forward 17 years later, through the trenches of my second decade in life... post traumatic stress disorder, functional alcoholism, rape, dropping into the college drop out bucket, depression, social anxiety, suicidal thoughts, major debt, six + car wrecks, betrayal from individuals who "loved me most", bulemia and anorexia followed by years of obesity, zero self-esteem, a hermitage....I tried to go at it all alone for years.  I even left my first love and support system -- making music.

Sometimes I wish that I could pin point what kept me going. If I could say anything, it would be the language of The Universe; the synchronicity that dappled my everyday, the little beautiful things: flowers, insects, birds, the breeze, music, bodies of water, my Spirit Guides, my father's ghost, my vivid dream life, walks in the cemetery (insert random Depeche Mode song here)--- these kept my heart alive.

I believed in magic and the power of prayer (for lack of better word) from a young age (to no particular God/Goddess/Guide that I knew by name, but, continued to converse with none-the-less). This kind of an entity is both soft and strong, a good listener and communicator...and also popular and ignored by many.

I recall being on the top bunk of my childhood bed and making a conscious decision to only pray for others as it felt selfish to pray for me. That eventually changed. I eventually came to understand how when we want change, we must ask for it, believe it, AND be open to it. When we do this, logic-defying, seemingly magical and life-altering experiences can come so easily. Faith becomes Life's never ending currency.

You don't have to believe that an Entity=Higher Power. You just have to have faith in a rhythm, a flow, a dance with all the energies of the world -- the visible and invisible.

Eventually I came to Mary, and as soon as I could afford therapy, I dove right in. The best action of my life, that's for damn sure. Well, that and stubbornly following my heart regarding my day-to-day work.

At the early beginnings of my second decade, when I first hit rock bottom, my intuitive and empathic self found respite in the writings of Carl Jung about dream analysis, psychology and healing from our shadows.

It lead me to the art, music and healing philosophy of  Hildegard Von Bingen and book on how to heal yourself through whole foods and eventually onto my path of becoming an herbalist, health coach and advocate for self-acceptance.

I began my journey of healing myself as best as I could -- through healthy food, understanding unique body types, listening to dreams, honoring intuition, letting go of relationships that no longer served either parties, integrating herbal medicines and making special time to communicate with my Spirit guides and Nature. .

After all, they are the ones who lifted me up during times of trauma and stress from the moment I slipped into this world in.

Also, inner and outer reflection. Lots of this -- we have to assimilate what we take if we want to create and share our gifts and our offerings. That shit is gold

Learning what it meant to be in my body, to love to move my body and finally love AND respect myself, body included, was possibly my biggest hurdle and biggest triumph.

The best decision in my spent hundreds of hours with my amazing support and rock of a therapist -- unwinding my story, picking up lost pieces of self, letting the light shine inward and letting my light shine outward.

But, also, so much gratitude to allowing time and space for yoga, writing, time by Water, sloshing feet in the mud, laying in the sunshine, learning to trust again, laughing, trying to help others laugh, sitting with my depression without feeling like I needed to be someone else, rediscovering sexual intimacy, remembering how to play out loud and speaking up.

Still learning what it means to create something from these shadows; these experiences, moments of clarity, support systems and ultimately, the journey of self-acceptance. They have stretched, broken and reassembled me into a montage of darkness and brightness...a kaleidoscope of colored glass hemmed together by fragile sheets of metal, blood, crystal and bone.

I know. I do love a good drama. But, even more so I love great comedy, divine synchronicity, authenticity, fearlessness compassion and honesty.

I would love to hear from you -- Do any of these experiences ring true to you past or present? If so, let me know. I'm full of stories, resources and foolish wisdom.

Your questions light me up and keep me going <3



April 30, 2016

Mind-Body Balance in the Heart of Spring: Spring Depression, Allergies + Water Retention

While some individuals remain relatively balanced year round, many of us are more sensitive to change. This time in-between Seasons can make you feel very out of balance.

Awareness of such sensitivity to your environmental changes is a huge step towards a healthier and happier Life...

We are not just Living with Nature,
We are a part of Nature.

With Spring, much energy arises from the Earth and within our bodies -- the Sap rises from the Roots and towards the Branches of Trees and Plants so Buds can burst forth.  

Our bodily fluids and energy also begins to rustle and rise within our own bodies.

So, be gentle on yourself this Spring if you are not feeling as Stellar as the Violets, Red Buds and Pear Trees, co-workers or best friends appear to feel....

While some feel the Sparks and JOY of Spring, others feel noticeably heavy and chaotic among the newly found extroversion.

The movement of Spring is upward and outward. Though Spring heralds bouts of warmth, this Season is mainly cold and moist. 

Spring vacillates. On one hand, she blooms, warms, shines Light on and moves a lot of energy. On the other, she provides cold Rains, Dewy Mornings, and cool Nights. 

The fluids in our bodies that have grown cold and comfortably stagnant with the cold, stillness of Winter are now asking to work overtime in their regulation of body temperature and energy management!

All of this commotion can cause stuffy  headaches, sinus pressure, anxiety, red eyes and inflammation of the skin --- or, feelings of heaviness, congestion, Water retention  in the face, stomach, legs, and yes, even Spring depression. 

Spring Depression and Allergies

Spring depression is found in a small population of individuals (only about 5%), however, it is a very real state of being.  

I have come to the conclusion that it may result from a combination of inflammation in response to Pollen, lymphatic stagnation and a manifestation of allergies not only within the Body, but also in the Mind.

I also believe there is a comfort for introverts and highly sensitive people during the quite Winter months. So, when Spring comes around, anxiety and overwhelm can arise. This is a time when Spring colors, happy joggers and sunny days can feel almost like an assault to the psyche! 

Cynical much? I know and speak from personal experience and have met a handful of individuals who have felt the same thing year after year. I mean, who dreads Spring?

At least five percent of the population who suffer from Spring depression, apparently. Oh, and the other one in five people (at least in the US) that suffer from seasonal allergies. That's actually quite a few. 

The good news is, as overwhelming as it can seem, recovery from the roller coaster of seasonal allergies and/or Spring depression is possible.  

You can take steps beyond simply "riding out the Season".

It takes listening to and honoring your Mind-Body. 

It takes your choice to say YES to empowered health.  

And, it takes a little willingness to brew herbal teas, or work with aromatic oils and/or take steps to evaluate environmental factors....

You may be surprised, but, it may not actually be the sprightly Pollen and beautiful Flowers that cause you to have such a strong allergenic response! 

Believe me, I have seen Botanical medicine and simple lifestyle shifts act effectively and with lasting results in many individuals. You may take a little time to figure out exactly what works for your mind-body type. Some results come faster than others and it is so worth the investment of energy and growth. 

A Few Natural Steps Toward Empowered Health...

So, below are a few Plant medicines and Mind-Body practices I have seen work with some individuals.

That shared, please know that we are all very unique in Mind-Body type.

Herbal Medicine is not about finding the perfect herb for a symptom -- it is about finding the right herb for your body type at this point in time. 

I find it really inspiring that Oprah and National Geographic have written about the effectiveness of Herbal Medicine, as well as the importance of working with those professionally trained.

If you try the Herbs and Essential Oils below without relief, don't give up. It simply means they are not the right herbs for you. 

If  you are ready to better understand your body-mind type and the right herbs to match,  I am accepting three new clients for a one-to-one three month deep dive.

Send me an email and I will respond with some questions for you to answer to ensure we may be a great fit.

Herbs and Essential Oils to Calm Chaos + Depression in Spring

Nettles: An Herbal Tonic

Consider integrating a cold tea of Nettles Leaf on a daily basis.You can do do very simply by placing a handful of Nettles Leaf into a quart mason jar and covering with hot Water.

Allow to steep over Night and drink throughout the Day.

Nettles is gently stimulating, drying, slightly warming and a great diuretic. It is also quite nutritious and aid in our bodies elimination of excess uric acid which can lead to Water retention. It is best to begin a Nettles infusion tea in February before Spring allergies begin, however, it is better late than never!

Peppermint Essential Oil: Sinus Relief

Peppermint essential oil, in low dilutions (2--3%) can aid us tremendously when it comes to sinus congestion. Peppermint is an initially cooling and drying lymphatic stimulant. It can aid in our capacity of breath, help us to feel more energized and focused -- simply put, Peppermint is clarifying.

You may even notice it's clarifying Nature when you use Peppermint toothpaste in the Mornings -- a time when sinus congestion can be most noticeable. I suggest using a peppermint inhalers (available here at the office), or, simply smelling it from the essential oil bottle.

Just be cautious to not accidentally hold the bottle too close to your face -- Peppermint can be quite irritating to the skin and should always be diluted in a carrier oil before application.

Believe me when I say, when it come to aromatherapy, less is more!

Mind-Body Energy Management

This is a powerful time to catch up on sleep and re-evaluate your distribution of energy. Though the daylight is changing, consider heading to bed a bit earlier. Ask yourself...

What brings me energy?
What drains my energy?

These two simple questions can welcome a dramatic wind fall of positive change. When we realize how we prefer to spend and save our energy, we gain Power over our Lives!

For example, I know a few things that bring me energy: I need to spend time outside with my feet on the Earth, I  Love to feeding and watching the Birds in our backyard, I need to integrate movement in my daily Practice of Life --- Hence, I've been taking time every day to do at least one of these acts of energizing Nourishment.

What Gives you Energy? What Drains You?

I encourage you to  identify what energizes and nourishes you and commit to integrating these things into your Life. The same goes for what drains you, only, I would like for you to think about how you can phase the items this list out of your Life. Or, at least find a way to make them less draining.

You may be surprised by just how much more energy you have in response to such changes.

I truly hope that the above suggestions are helpful to you or a fellow friend who feels a little chaos in Spring. Yes, these herbal remedies and suggestions may only be the tip of the  Iceberg, however they are one more step along your path of Empowered Health!

For over ten years, like you have found relief from their allergies, anxiety, digestive trouble and sensitivities while working with me.

I believe that with the rise in awareness of Herbal Medicine, Aromatherapy and Mind-Body Nutrition, comes a rise self-actualized and healing in individuals on a deeper level than ever!

So, if you know this work is for you, send me an email and I will respond with a few questions for you to answer. If we seem like a good fit, we can talk more about a one-to-one Mind-Body Health coaching deep dive. All I ask of you is to come open to positive transformation and Life changing shifts.

Wishing you a smooth transition this Spring!

Plant Love + Light Hearts, 


April 21, 2016

Confidence, Creativity, Cultivation: Mind - Body Posture and Your Hidden Self

Okay, my first ‪Throwback Thursday ever I think...

Hands down my *favorite* inner child picture left laying about.

It's amazing how as children, we flow along and stand within our bodies so confidently.

Yet, years into Life, many of us begin to hold foreign body patterns and postures -- a reflection of who we perceive we are growing into and how we may feel....Slumped shoulders, tilted pelvises, forward jutting chins, inward pulling bellies, etc.

Just curious, what might it be like for you to look at your childhood pictures and/or videos to see what pieces of your Spirit were so magically captured in time?

What might you be reminded was and is always there if you claim it?

For me in this picture? A little bit of rebel, a lot of walking my own personal path, a Love for time with the Trees and a swing in my gate that simply cracks me up.

I was loving, joyful, and loved to dance. My early designer self cut the crotch out of my skorts because what the heck is a skort good for anyway?

A skirt with flaps is so much more desirable.

Shortly after, my parents banned from using scissors. Not for running with them, but, for re-purposing and re-inventing items....Others may call this destroying, hah.

I guess that's left up to the eyes of the beholder... --- When you Honor YOUR Hearts Desires and Creations you flourish as a creative being, Inspire those around you and make the World a more beautiful, accepting, quirky and diverse place to Thrive in.

Now it's your turn...

What passions and perceptions from your little Self are still Alive and kicking today?

What lights have been dampened that you miss?

What body postures and patterns have you learned over the years?

What would it be like to just try to stand up and walk like you did as a child?

What will you do this weekend that shines Light and reaffirms your unique Gifts?

Your right to happiness?

Your claim for creation?

Get on it!

With Love,

April 19, 2016

Tap Roots

Last Autumn, my partner and I moved into a new house with a large and heavenly Sun spotted yard. 

We finally share enough space to *not* hear everything one another is doing. Our failed attempts to shout random nothings at each other from across the house brought on an odd sense of peace. It was easy to get used to. 

Finally. Space to be together, but, apart. 

Fast forward to Spring, our Sundays together mean lots of time in the Garden. I recently purchased some Coral Bells, Ferns and Flox for our mostly shady Garden bed --- they were grown four by four inch pots and had WELL outgrown their flats. 

Their Roots were a static tangled mess held into as large of a firm square that their little plastic spaces would allow. 

That sight was pretty depressing to me. I could not help but feel like my mission with every Plant was to recognize and release the potential of each little Root!

"I see you and your great potential. You are not where you came from. You are not your past. You are not the box in which society places you. You are timeless and free."

Plants are always in search of their best Soil, Sun, and Watering conditions... and are always moving towards those resources. When they begin to outgrow their containers, they take on the shape of their container, or, if the container is permeable, they break through them. 

Many people don't realize, but, when you plant a Tree, Shrub or Flower, it is in best practice to shake up the Roots so that they know they are free to grow in the most nourishing direction. It's also great practice to dig a hole at least twice a large in diameter in order to loosen the Soil around the Roots so they have plenty of inspiration to take form.  

While planting these little fellows I was reminded over and over again by how sometimes all it takes is one individual in our lives to remind us of our greatness.  Just a little tickling of our Roots and a loose shaking of our perceived environment. 

However, a reminder may be all the external help we get. It is up to us to create and recreate our most ideal growing environment.

We live as small or as large as we allow ourselves to. 

And....sometimes the boxes we dwell in, are, well, too small for our greatness. 

Open yourself up to stepping outside of that box. 

Sometimes, society, while seemingly all encompassing, is really only a self-inflicted barrier waiting for us to break it open. 

And, while this little conversation with the Coral Bells, Flox and Ferns can be made quite literal, what I've learned in Life is that more often than not, we shouldn't count on a giant mythical creature so come and save us from our all too tiny boxes. 

That's the great Human dilemma. Sometimes my dear, it's just up to you. 

When you tickle and pluck at Roots to loosen and free them from their outgrown boxes -- they are most conformed around the edges -- and the most free at the core -- where their Tap Root resides. 

When we center ourselves and look inward, our capability for self-expansion and our ability to thrive creatively can seem limitless and it is up to us to pull that energy outward and into the World around us. 

Live from your center, your Tap Root. 

noun: tap-root
  1. a straight tapering root growing vertically downwards and forming the centre from which subsidiary rootlets spring.

When we rely on the boxes society reflects back to us as "okay", we get tripped up, held back and reformed. When we affirm ourselves in the mirror day after day who we are and who we are not, we confirm our boxes. 

When we shine Light on our greatness and say "YES!" to our potential, the walls gently crumble. We find ways to more fertile Soil, refreshing Water and Inspired Sun Light. 

However, you have to take chances. When we break through societal fears in honor of our own Hearts, Truths, Voices, and Desires, we break ground for our greatest potential. The support we need will follow. 

December 23, 2015

Glimmering for Gold


During this month so many of gather with family and close friends to celebrate Winter holidays, and the New Year. Our Superstar muscles flex on and off. Sometimes we celebrate with stellar party game face. And, some days we'd feel better off in bed.

We can't always be on. I guess some could argue. If that's you,  I'd say I'm jealous, but, I love my spectrum of emotions too much, especially the dark spaces in which I like to hide from the World. So, instead, I will say I admire you and thank you for making the World a brighter place <3

For those existing without automated stellar holiday game face...It's not abnormal to wake up feeling a bit extra sensitive. It's okay to acknowledge how sometimes, special someones know a short cut under your skin.  The present triggers on a platter....which...when worked through, truly are a blessing towards personal evolution.

 In these cases, sometimes all you can do is walk away and take a breather around the block to simulate alone time. In fact, now is a great time to pick up that jogging routine you've mentally simulated time and time again.

But, getting to my's a great time to remember how we ALWAYS have a choice to re-frame our situations.  To swap out our current lenses with something more shiny...a suggested practice we commonly hear.

And, I'm about to suggest it to you again, but, in detail....


For those of you who find yourself mentally stewing in annoyance just thinking about a worrisome dynamic that near... I have an idea you'll either love or cross your eyes at in frustration and cynicism. I get it and am going to suggest this anyway...

Make a Starry eyed journal for those you are about to spend time with.

You can be as snarky and sarcastic as you need to be in the warm up. Eventually, get past those mini (or truly major) flaws that most people never pick up on.

Basically, instead of priming yourself for agitation and anxiety....make a gorgeous list of all the big, beautiful, individual, creative awesomeness that shines from within all the people you Love before you see them. It may brighten your view of the World. It may extend itself out as energy work to those you Love, or Love to sort of dislike.

This isn't to take light of truly difficult situations. It's to practice Loving bigger. It's to practice energy work for the World, your family, your friends, co-workers, your sorta friends that you're gonna run into anyway.

What are some traits you can Love bigger about that special someone? Make a list for them all. See how this changes the dynamic this week. Total experiment.

Happy Holidays everyone. Wishing so much Love for you.