December 20, 2013

It's Your Life… Drop the Guilt and Revel in a Date with Yourself

Do you find yourself farming your most energized waking hours to everyone but yourself? If you find little time to rest or play on your own accord, I have two tips for you.

Tip #1 Grab a pen (notice I did not say pencil). Open your day-timer and schedule a date with yourself this coming week.

Ignore that little voice in your head whispering, “what if so-and-so calls/needs me…oh no, I can’t decide...”.

Just do it!

Feeling a little crazy? 

A little selfish?


That is exactly the first step you need to set up some real boundaries and joy time just for you. You don’t have to make any wild or luxurious plans. A hot bath, a cup of tea, a space out session with your favorite wall…it’s all in your hands.

I got this tip from my Aunt Rita, who admirably, has always made time for herself.

My favorite part of her sharing her ‘date with self’ tip (other than her sweet Southern accent), was how she leaned in as if it were secret, “…if anyone asks to meet you at that time, just say, ‘oh no, I won’t be able to make it then…I have a date.’, because, really sweetie, you do…you have a date with yourself!”

You Aren’t Really Lying

Though, one may see this as an act of selfishness and luxury, I personally see it as sane. Especially within the wildly packed, fast paced, technology filled world in which many of us live.

Are you feeling a bit guilty or unable to make such time?

Get a hold of yourself!

This is your life, pick up those reigns like you mean it…no one else is going to schedule in that self-care time but you.

You are worthy!

Try scheduling in another one for the following week…or month.  The best dates with self are those you schedule so far in advance that you surprise yourself.

Tip # 2 Goes back to the part where I mention how being a part of this wild and wooly technology driven world can be maddening.

But first, I have a big embarrassing question for you...

Have you ever found yourself sharing time with your smart phone while visiting the lou?

Okay, how about just texting?

If you answered “yes”, Turn that stuff off! Seriously, don’t let social media get the best of your quiet time.

We may not all do it, but, hopefully we are laughing together.

 I’ve met way too many people who feel the bathroom is their quiet time (ahem, moms) to not take their matter seriously (and with humor).

My goal is to come up with creative ways to cultivate mini breaks outside of the bathroom.
Aside from that...

I wanted to see how linked you are to your phone so I could convince you of my proposition…

What if you took a short break from technology? How much peace of mind could you further gain by turning off your cell phone or computer (if you possess one or the other) for one---whole---day?

What if you allowed yourself a cellphone free day once a week?

Once a month?

Eight hours in a single day?

I am trying to negotiate here.

We have been a thriving species for thousands of years prior to the invention of computers and cellular phones.

Do you really think your world may come crashing down if take a break?

If you are worried about it, take a few precautions to tie loose ends and cut cords of curiosity.

Ask a neighbor to be your lifeline in case of emergencies. Set up an auto-responding email that declares your break. You will likely inspire others to recognize they deserve the same.

You may find yourself walking into a more beautifully synchronistic space with real live books, long thought about projects, or accidental meetings.

Yes, I imagine I have some Luddite blood in me somewhere…and I suppose I would like to encourage you to get back in touch with some of the simpler things in life, such as taking a walk to make a bouquet (Winter and Fall bouquets are gorgeous) or writing an old fashioned letter to share that golden feeling of real mail.

Remember all those things you loved to do ten years ago that somehow got away?

Indeed, as we grow further into the blossoming Summer of our lives, we become filled with more responsibilities.

Though, I think this seeming dilemma has worsened with the express speed of communication technology.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally enjoy and appreciate being able to play a part in this luxurious web of technology.

I have made some very meaningful relationships, shared creative outlets, and have saved lots of time when I needed it most.

I know how easy it is to fritter away precious time, get screen-staring headaches and bouts of insomnia.

Oh, and what about irritability? Such as those moments where you feel annoyed (with stranger) or get snappy (with family member) because a real life person asks you a question as you interact with your unassuming phone.

Ouch! That’s just plain detached from reality and mean (I do it too). One day, our etiquette (or technology) will evolve in such a way that allows us to tackle both at once.

As humans without technology, in the past, we made larger families to help keep things afloat. We had patience, we had quiet, we had time. We also hauled buckets to bathe and drink water…

So, consider yourself lucky. It is a time to enjoy the best of both worlds

A good old break from communication technology can uplift your spirit, and reground your entire being.

So, what do you say? Are you able and ready?

Enjoy a predictably quiet moment.

Place those fandangles out of sight and out of mind!

Wishing you the best of luck on your sassy and solo date…Oh, and don’t be afraid to make it lame, those are the best.

Warmth + Light,

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